How Much Is Too Much Privacy?

Thank you to those who made my blog a great hit and for sharing it with your family and friends. So the first thing I encountered last week is privacy. At the end of a post you will see a disclaimer about having my son's permission to post certain pictures of him on my blog , if I post any pictures of him. I didn't begin this new blog without my son's permission. Shocking I know! But as parents of high school kids or potential HS kids, we have to learn how to begin to respect their privacy. Before they got to the awkward stage of puberty, their privacy was our privacy. We would walk into their rooms unannounced, pick up dirty clothes, look over their shoulders to see what they are looking at on the computer or their phones. But those things change as they become older. There is a new level of privacy. So, the question is how much is too much privacy? We want to learn how to let go and give them space. But not too much space, after all, they are still teenagers.

Before entering my son's room now, I knock on his bedroom door. God forbid if I walk in his room and he's undressed. Do you know how embarrassing that will be for our teenagers and for us? Total humiliation! And it's worst for those who have teenage daughters. They don't want you seeing all of their business and knowing when they are on their cycle... ILL.... Absolutely not! That is very uncomfortable. I remember my mother asked me that personal question when I was in high school and the dreaded and uneasy feeling I had I will never forget. I know I asked her why did she want to know. My body doesn't concern her but if something comes up I will let her know and she can take me to the doctor. I'm sure some of you moms can relate to that. So, keep in mind how it made you feel when your mom or dad pried into your personal business.

Just like we have to knock on their bedroom door before entering, they have to do the same thing for us. I GET IT.... we pay the rent, the bills, the mortgage, etc but its a gradual step in this phase we have to go through. Before, when they were little ones, we were able to post pictures of our kids all over social media. Now, I think we should ask for "some" form of permission depending on what the picture is being used for. Hey! Our teenagers also have reputation and lives outside of us too. I think its harmless to share the funny pictures or videos of them in rare comical moments. But then again, I'm not so sure. What do you think? Posting pictures of our now teenagers are harmless. They post pictures of themselves all the time. And we pray that those pictures of themselves isn't suggestive in any way. Yes, we may follow them on The Gram or IG (Instagram) or Twitter or Snap Chat. Or we may be friends with them on FB (Facebook). But we know that they can have other hidden accounts.

Bottom line, it all comes down to trust. With privacy comes trust. Respecting their privacy we have to be able to trust that they aren't dong anything that can harm themselves or others or even regret doing something that can have serious repercussions for later. The privacy I give my son is the same kind of privacy that I want from him and others. I don't pry into his love life or quarrels he may have with friends unless he comes to me for advice. He knows that my nonjudgmental door is always open. I'll save that topic for another post. But we have to believe that the morals and values we instill in our teens will help them make the right decisions. And if and when we pry too much I'm sure our vocal teens will let us know when we are getting a little bit too nosey.

So, let's practice giving them SOME privacy but not TOO much.